The Monstrous Monkee Mash

Written by Neil Burnstyn&David Panich

Directed by James Frawley

Produced by Ward Sylvester

Song: “Goin’ Down” by Diane Hilderbrand, Michael Nesmith, Micky Dolenz, David Jones&Peter Tork

Guest Appearances

The Count                                          Ron Masak

Lorlei                                            Arlene Martel

The Wolfman                                   David Pearl

Premiered on January 22, 1968

Summary

In this episode spoof of horror films, Davy is lured by his new girlfriend Lorlei to her Uncle Count Dracula’s castle near the swamp on a thunderous night.  While there, Davy becomes spooked by some of the surroundings including a moving armor, a painting of Count Dracula on the wall (which is really the Count standing behind a blank picture frame) and bat-type lamp and tries to exit.  Lorlei manages to persuade him to give her a kiss and ends up freezing him with a magic necklace she places on him.  Soon the Count decides that Davy is the perfect specimen for Dracula reborn.

Meanwhile back at the Monkees’s pad, the guys are worried since Davy isn’t back yet so Mike calls at the castle but when he receives the Counts creepy laughter on the phone, he’s convinced that Davy is in trouble and needs their help.  At the castle, Dracula starts training Davy on how to a vampire by having him drink tomato juice as blood and flying lessions with a vampire's cape.  Mike, Micky and Peter arrive at the castle to rescue where the Count welcomes them inside but Micky is reluctant until Lorlei welcomes them in. They bring to the library where they him the guys that Davy went into town and should be back before excusing themselves.  The guys start to get spooked by their surroundings too while The Count and Lorlei observe and take notes behind the picture frame on the wall.  Then Count Dracula decides that Peter’s brain would be perfect for the monster since he doesn’t have a thought at all.  Mike reads a book about vampires and they notice the picture of the vampire in the book resembles the Count and they realize that the Count and Lorlei are vampires.  Then Mike and Micky search for Davy while Peter remains behind. 

Davy is chained to a wall in the celler as he tries to turn the Wolfman against the Count by accusing him of keeping the Wolfman in the basement all the time, not giving him second billings in the pictures they’ve made together and exploiting him.  When the Wolfman prepares to pounce on Lorlei, Davy informs her that the Wolfman wants a better percentage of the profits, cookouts on weekends and to right to make his own music and Lorlei agrees to the deal.  Later, Lorliei seduces Peter in the library into kissing her freezing him with the magic necklace like she did with Davy.  The Wolfman enters and attempts to carry Peter off but is stopped by the Count who manages to distract him with hotdogs. Then the Count and Lorlei take a frozen Peter ot the lab.  Mike and Micky continue to search for Davy when they  briefly encounter the Mummy.  Micky is still spooked by their surroundings and is ready to leave but Mike insists on finding Davy and they head back to the library where they discover Peter is gone.

Mike and Micky continue their search and neither of them notices that the Wolfman is behind them.  Soon Mike finds a secret passageway and enters it but Micky doesn’t follow him in and when he spots the Wolfman, he runs back to the library and barricades himself in with furniture where he encounters Lorlei.  Just like with Davy and Peter, she uses the magic necklace on him after kissing him and promises the Wolfman thatMicky is for him but Wolfman only eats a banana instead.  Mike finds himself in the cellar but he becomes scared when he realizes that Micky is not behind him.  He’s further scared when the comes across the Mummy in his tomb and heads back upstairs and into the library where he hides from the Count and Lorlei behind the picture frame in the wall.  The he takes notes as the Count makes his plans to switch Peter’s brain with the monster at the height of the full moon at midnight. 

Meanwhile, both Davy and Micky are now chained to the wall in the dungeon as they fret about becoming a vampire and a werewolf.  In a fantasy sequence, Davy becomes Dracula and Micky the Wolfman but their fantasy is interrupted by the Count.  They explain to him about the fantasy sequences they do but the Count informs them that he controls everything now including their fantasies and to their shock they really have become a vampire and a wolfman when they can't take their makeup off.  The Count orders the Wolfman to chain them back up as he and Lorlei prepare for the operation on Peter.  Mike makes it to the cellar and  hides in the Mummy’s tomb with the Mummy at soundof the Count.  The vampires and the Wolfman drag two stretchers of Peter and the monster covered with white sheets preparing for the operation.  Mike switches wardrobes with the Mummy and arrives as his assistant and manages to trick the Count, snatching the stretcher right under his nose and takes off.  Then Mike frees Werewolf Micky and Vampire Davy.  When the Count realizes he’s been duped, he decides to use mind control on the guys which makes Micky try to bite Mike’s hand and Davy bite his neck.  The Count and Lorlei then discover that Mike took the wrong body since they have Peter while the Monkees have the monster and they realize they can still bring him back to life by using the energizer switch.  Soon to the song “Goin’ Down”, there’s a wild chase as the Monkees fight off Frankenstein, the Wolfman, Dracula and the Mummy and eventually defeat them all.

Back in the library, Mike reads in the book that if the monsters are defeated they can’t return for a thousand years.  They are all relieved that they’re no more monsters until the book starts flying in space which spooks Peter thinking it’s the Invisible Man.  Mike explains it’s just special effects with a wire holding the book up and shows him by using scissors to cut the wire making the book flip.  Davy uses the scissors as well and manages to cut the wire causing the book to drop on Peter’s foot.

Trivia Notes

This episode is the second one to be a spoof of horror films,

the first being “I Was A Teenage Monster”.

This episode was the first screen credit for Monkees stand-in

David Pearl (The Wolfman) despite making many appearances

in the series.

The girl walking past Dracula Davy and Werewolf Micky is actress

Valerie Kairys who has made numerous appearances on the Monkees

series previously.

Actor Ron Masak (Count Dracula) appeared as Charlie Wilson in the

1973 ABC comedy sitcom “Love Thy Neighbor” and later as Sheriff

Mort Metzger CBS “Murder She Wrote”.

Director James Frawley’s voice is heard when he gives Micky directions

on how to hive a frightened shout and is the voice of the flying bat.

During the fantasy sequence, Davy mistakenly calls out for Jack Williams,

the property man when he should have called out for Keeva Johnson, the

makeup artist.

The Monkees first recording session for their fifth album “The Birds, The Bees

And The Monkees” took place on the evening of the first shooting of this

episode.

During the CBS November 14, 1970 and March 11, 1972 repeats of this episode,

the song "Goin' Down" was replaced by "Bye Bye, Baby, Bye Bye" by Micky

Dolenz and Richard Klein.