I Was A 99-lb. Weakling(a.ka. Physical Culture)
Teleplay by Gerald Gardner, Dee Caruso&Neil Burstyn and Story by Jon C. Anderson
Directed by Alex Singer
Produced by Robert Rafelson&Bert Schneider
Songs: “Sunny Girlfriend” by Michael Nesmith, “Love Is Only Sleepy” by Barry Mann& Cynthia Weil
Guest appearances
Shah-Ku Monte Landis
Bulk David Draper
Brenda Venita Wolf
Benny Benny Levine
Intellectual Gary Waynesmith
Premiered on October 16, 1967
Summary
Micky is on the beach with his girlfriend Brenda, a pretty blonde but empty-headed girl, when a large blonde muscleman named Bulk shows up and tries to impress Brenda with his muscles. When Micky tries to intervene, Bulk overpowers him by shoving him a away in the sand where he encounters Shah-Ku, a physical cultist who hands Micky a card that advertises his body building course. Micky rejects his offer and tries to fight the Bulk only to be overpowered once again while the muscle guy walks off with Brenda. Shah-Ku tries to initiate him once again to join his club but Micky tries to tear up the card but finds he can’t.
Micky goes with Shah-Ku back to his gym where he tries to convince Micky he’s a weakling and to prove his point puts Micky to three tests which he plans for him fail at. First to climb a rope that’s greased, using pulleys and weightlifting a dumbbell that’s too heavy. After failing, he convinces Micky to join his health plan for $150 for member-ship. Since Micky can't afford that much, Shah-Ku suggests he hock his drums. Back at the pad, Davy and Peter try to convince Micky not to hock his drums since they have little money and food already and offer to physically train him themselves. Peter tries to show him how to use the strength pulleys but can’t use them himself. Davy tries to show him a muscle exercise for his back but finds that he can’t straighten himself out. After some jogging on the beach, the guys surprise Micky for sticking to his training by inviting Brenda over but Micky is too exhausted to be able to impress her.
Early the next morning, Micky now in shape is eager to return to the beach and beat up on the Bulk in order to see Brenda, but Davy and Micky convince him violence isn’t the answer and come up with underhanded tactics to get rid of the Bulk instead. Then Davy confronts Bulk at the beach and dares him to step on over a series of lines he makes on the beach while Peter paints red spots on his back. Afterwards, Davy runs away and Peter now disguised as a doctor convinces the Bulk that he’s sick. After ex-amining him with a stethoscope and a mallet he tells him he’ll lose is strength before charging him $10. Later, Davy and Peter toss a ball at him and ask him to throw it back but the Bulk can’t lift it since it’s made of lead. Then Davy disguised as a little kid asks the muscle man to hold his kite for him but when does so he’s lifted up in the air since the kite is attached to a dirigible that’s heading for Bayonne, New Jersey. Back at the pad, Micky is still skeptical of getting Brenda back since she’s into muscles. The guys put big shoulder pads on him hidden by a jacket so it’ll look like he has a lot of mus-cles. Micky then confronts Brenda on the beach despite having trouble walking but the Bulk shows up figuring out the truth and overpowers Micky once again where he once again lands near Shah-Ku who finally manages to convince to join Weakling Anony-mous.
Two days later, Micky who hasn’t eaten since in order to purify his tissues collapses in the pad from starvation worrying the guys. Peter decides to call Shah-Ku expressing is worries about Micky to him and the cultist tells him to use green rice to fix him. Then Shah-Ku tells Bulk of his devious plans of getting Micky to hock his drums as soon as he picks him up that night. At dinner, Micky has thrown out all the meat and instead makes them a meal of green gruel which disgusts the guys and some plain lettuce. Shah-Ku barges into the pad that evening and starts bashing their surrounding and soon drags Micky off for a meeting at the gym. Peter enters seconds later and tells Davy he had just seen Shah-Ku at hot dog stand eating a hot dog, chilly and some soda and they realize he’s a fake. At the Weakling Anonymous meeting, Shah-Ku gives a speech to a group of weaklings as he tries to persuade Micky to sign a contract but Micky is still hesitant. Meanwhile, Davy and Peter arrive at the meeting and put on the WA sweat suits in order to disguise themselves as members. When Shah-Ku asks for people to give a speech expressing how WA has affected their lives, both Davy and Peter take turns giving false stories in order to discredit the club while being chased by Shah-Ku’s goons. Soon chaos erupts as Davy rams into Shah-Ku knocking him down exposing him as a fake to the weaklings and when Bulk enters the room, Micky realizes he was in on the scam. A wild chase starts to the tune “Sunny Girlfriend” with the Monkees all donned up as Monkeemen as they and the weaklings eventually overpower Shah-Ku and his goons.
Later, Micky is back on the beach with Brenda when a nerdy intellectual reading a book walks by and accidentally kicks sand in Micky’s face. Micky is about to pound on him when the guy starts explaining the book in a intellectual manner impressing Brenda who loves a guy with a mind and she ends up walking off with the nerdy guy leaving Micky pouting.
This episode ends with a rendition of “Love Is Only Sleepy”.
Trivia Notes
Mike wasn’t in this episode due to artistic differences. He would also
be absent in two other episodes in during the second season.
This episode would be the last to have the Monkees appear as superheroes
Monkeemen.
Actor Dave Draper (The Bulk) was Mr. America 1965, Mr. Universe Mr. 1966 and
Mr. World 1970 and appeared in several TV and films including MGM’s big budget 1967 film “Don’t Make Waves”.
Actor Gary Waynesmsith (The Intellectual) was among the 437 whom auditioned for the
Monkees TV series.
